Humorous Quotes

Inspiration Station

Inspirations for Business and Life

Inspirational Quotes, Proverbs, Business Quotes.

Humorous Quotes

"You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You can't find something? Scream, "Mom, I need help!"" ~ unknown


"I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday." ~ unknown


"Once upon a time I had a life, now I have an Internet connection." ~ unknown


"I saw my Ex updated her Facebook status to "standing on the edge of a cliff." So, I poked her." ~ unknown


"Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood". ~ Mary Hirsch



"Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too." ~ Jimmy Buffett


"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream." ~ W.C. Fields, Comedian


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Humorous Quotes

"Due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled." ~ Irene Kampen


"The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog." ~ Mark Twain


"It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” – Errol Flynn


"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you've been up to." ~ Becky Fowler Blackmon


"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you ever tried." ~ Steven Wright


"When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder. "~ James H. Boren


"THINK...It may be a new experience." ~ unknown


"The secret to a good marriage? Multi-touch." ~ Steve Jobs


"If it is good for Derek, it is good for everyone." ~ Derek


"If SEX did not exist, then a marketing executive would have had to invent it." ~ unknown



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"Business is like SEX. When it's good, it's very, very good; when it's not so good, it's still good." ~ George Katona


"A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again." ~ Mark Twain


"I'm normal, it's everyone else that's weird." ~ unknown


"Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?" ~ Kurt Cobain


"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." ~ Jack Handey


"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." ~ Will Rogers


"I called my mother to wish her Happy Birthday and she said, "Why didn't you put it on Facebook, son?" And I said, "Goodbye, mother!"" ~ unknown



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